The First Agreement

Quotes and Notes from reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

1. Be impeccable with your word.

Our words are used to create. Words are considered a gift from God.

In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God.

My behaviors are an expression of my beliefs.

My beliefs are a reflection of the stories—facts and opinions—I’ve agreed to accept for myself.

When I was a child, I did not know how to pick and choose which words to accept.

I did not know anything and relied on older people to guide me. As children, we agree to accept everything we are told because we trusted our elders to have a better grasp at life than us.

Their words became the foundation of my beliefs. Their stories were taken literally and were indisputable, no matter how it made me feel.

During our domestication, our parents and siblings gave their opinions about us without even thinking. We believed these opinions, like not being good at swimming, or sports, or writing (pg. 28).

Children believe every word their parents tell them. Children listen to every word directed to them and every word directed toward someone else. They listen to the opinions made about concepts and people their parents know and don’t know. Children adopt those same opinions as their own; their preferences and thoughts a blank canvas they need to fill in order to feel accepted by their parents and others. It is a way children try to survive in this new world—this new life—they are in. They are learning to speak, think, and act, and adults know how to do those things in a way that provides security, confidence, resources, and admiration (aka physical and emotional safety).

The word is not just a sound or a written symbol. The word is a force; it is the power you have to express and communicate, to think, and thereby to create the events in your life… But like a sword with two edges, your words can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you.

One edge is the misuse of the word, which creates a living hell. The other edge is the impeccability of the word, which will only create beauty, love, and heaven on earth. Depending upon how it is used, the word can set you free, or it can enslave you even more than you know (pg. 26-27).

The mind is fertile ground.

We decide to which seeds our minds are fertile ground to.

The seeds:

• opinions

• ideas

• concepts

Plant a seed, and a thought grows. The thought can bloom out of fear or out of wonder.

When we speak, we are planting seeds.

Our words can be used as gifts or curses.

You may believe you are stupid, and so everything you do is seen as something someone stupid would do. You spend your days in regret over actions you believe were caused by your stupidity, believing your life’s misfortunes are all because you are not smart enough. You are living under a curse, and your path is leading you to create situations that reinforce the belief that you are stupid (pg. 28).

One day, someone comes along as says you’re not stupid. You listen and agree to believe them, letting go of that belief—that agreement—that you are stupid.

“I am not stupid.” A new agreement, because someone used their words to set you free rather than reinforce the curse you’d been living in. Your path completely redirected. That’s the power of word. The more that new agreement is reaffirmed, the less fertile your mind is to seeds of self-doubt; thoughts of “I’m stupid” and “I’ll never be successful because I am not smart enough” are not given the soil to take root and bloom.

Impeccability

Impeccable → Latin pecatus → “sin”.

Im → “without”.

What does it mean to sin? It is to go against.

To agree to beliefs that are against yourself is a sin. To act in ways that go against yourself is a sin. To use your words against yourself is a sin.

Impeccability is the opposite of these sins.

It is to think, act, and speak in ways that are for you, not against you.

Sin is self-rejection. The opposite is self-acceptance. This opposite—impeccability—is obtained through self-awareness without judgment.

When you are impeccable, you take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself (pg. 29).

Using our words to judge and sin is like drinking poison and thinking it will kill the other person. When you sin against others, you sin against yourself.

You use the power of your words to place yourself in a living hell, and you become the instigator for someone else to join you. Like the quote: “Misery loves company.”

Being impeccable with your word is to place yourself in heaven on earth. It sets you free. It throws seeds onto minds that are fertile for truth and love. You agree to accept impeccable beliefs—ones that do not cast you and others into a living hell, that do not enslave you to a life of confusion, judgment, and fear.

A belief is an agreement.

When we believe an opinion, we make an agreement, and it becomes a part of our belief system (pg. 31).

A parent who is tired and in a bad mood, not knowing the power of their word, will dismantle a child’s source of joy. While to the parent it is a moment of weakness, their poisonous words take root in the child’s mind. Whatever the parent says to make the child stop in order to obtain some temporary peace is a belief the child will have to fight to be set free from, developing a whole complex from the single event.

People who love us don’t realize they do this. They are unaware of the power of their word, therefore they aren’t to blame. They do what their own parents or others did to them. This is why we must forgive them; they don’t know what they do (pg. 31).

This is Generational Sin.

It is not knowing the power of our word. It is the opinions (curses) fueled by fear and judgment that are thoughtlessly cast onto fertile, trusting minds.

As the receiver trying to break generational sin, forgiveness is impeccability because it releases you from living in the hell that is judgment and resentment, and it casts a seed—a thought, or opportunity to think—to the person who intentionally or unintentionally used the power of their word to curse you and bring you into their living hell.

Breaking the sin—the curse—is to be a Life Bringer; presenting opportunities for yourself and others to let go of sinful agreements (enslaving beliefs that betray and work against you), and instead make impeccable agreements (beliefs that are for you, motivated by truth, and set you free).

Only the truth will set us free.

When I was a child, it was not my fault for lacking the skill of discerning which words were curses and gifts to my foundational beliefs.

However, I, in my free will, agreed to the beliefs curated by those words. That is the part in all of this that I have to take responsibility for.

The effort of making new agreements through being impeccable with my word is my responsibility moving forward. It is the challenge we all individually face if we choose to break generational curses for the sake of our children’s children.

To create heaven on earth for ourselves and everyone and everything we interact with in this brief time.